Screaming How We Feel

Meta communication--the idea that we are communicating volumes through our facial expressions and body language, and voice tone. It is thought by some psychologists that this form of communication is acatually louder and more persuasive taht actual words. The other day, I sat down to watch TV--a rare occurance. I sat and watched a drama. I could watch for very long because the acting was absolutely HORRIBLE! The actors were saying all the right words and trying their best to convey the seriousness and gravity of the situation,thought their character would respond, but there was a lag and delay in how their body reacted. I could tell that they were not feeling the depth of the situation, but were merely moving to their next line. The distortion was very subtle, and if you were caught up in the show, you would probably not notice it, because you would be filling in the emotional gaps that the actors had left.  It was maddening to me. I could not stand it and had to turn the television off. (I sometimes I wonder if if have the opposite of autism, where I am hyper sensitive to the emotions and energy people are sending out--but that is an musing for another day). The point I make is that we as humans scream how we feel thought these meta messages.
but their facial expressions and tone were all off and out of sync. They were responding how they

In his book Blink, Malcolm Gladwell relates how one researcher has been able to predict with 90% accuracy if a marriage will survive based on a series of freakishly subtle clues the couple gives off while hooked up to cameras and sensors. The tone may be casual and loving, but researches have been able to identify the moments of contempt through eye movement and body language. All may seem normal on the surface, but war rages underneath. So with this information comes the question, "if I can't 'fake' being nice, then how do I really overcome this?" And that is where I think charity comes in . More that just doing nice things, I think if we are to be truly Christ-like in our loving, we must change how we feel about others.  That doesn't mean we "can't fake it until we make it" but it does mean that if we want be Christlike, we must have "his image in our countenances". I think that the best way to become loving and to convey these messages is to pray and to work diligently to change thoughts and feelings about others. Mother Teresa said it best, "If you judge people, you have no time to love them".